Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
