I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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