we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
