I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
