The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
