Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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