i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
then he tried to convert me to islam
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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