great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
