i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize