Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
