i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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