Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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