just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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