i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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