I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Screwed.edu
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
