chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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