Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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