We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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