have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
