I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
