It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
