mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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