nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
