I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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