i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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