It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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