these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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