Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think I am morally bankrupt
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
