The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
