Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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