D3 body, D1 cock
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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