No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
there is glitter all over my balls
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
