Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
