she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize