I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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