How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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