I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize