Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
