bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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