Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
50% drunk capacity currently
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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