i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
