Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize