hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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