I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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