How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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