was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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