He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
