I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
