Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
