Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
