i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
