So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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