Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
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Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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