I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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