Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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