puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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