Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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