if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
