I want to make a zoo with you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
