i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
