Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
