shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
