how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
