Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
